Accenture - Desis with "Twangs"

Desis without Twangs are like an Indian restaurant in the US without a Lunch Buffet. Its bound to happen folks! Notice the already developing southerners' accent overlaying my otherwise immaculate Tam-Bram (in short Petterr) English? Ever noticed the recently opened Indian restaurant with the all you can eat $7.99 weekday lunch buffet dishing out sandpaper-like dosas, rock-like idlys (if we are lucky!), tasteless chicken curry and chai that tastes like overly sweet baby piss? Well such a place can be comparable (with great accuracy!) to the "Swaminadha Gopalan turned Yo I'm SammyG" types or also the "Prateek turned Patrick" types; basically a crop of Desis synonymous to an Avocado cultivation in the fields Ramanathapuram (obviously) gone terribly wrong! The girls are a class apart and end up sounding perfectly like the night time "Amaravathy turned Amy" Call Centre b#$%@s with an IQ of a tea coaster. There is also a "Let me just get a twang so this dumb Amru f#@k can understand what I'm saying" junta where some of the Desis develop rugged mid-western accents and score all the chicks (even the ABCDs!!) and the Amru's approval; on the other hand some of them just end up with a sorry excuse for a southern accent sounding eerily similar to a Vadivel-esque rendition of "Sing in the rain" (no points for guessing who!) The girls in this junta could have fare better had they not sounded like a brainless American teenager going "Basically like, I ddoooon whannna like, ddooo dddis, but uhmm, like, I dddooon rrreeely haav a ccchoiise ya knooww". (Fact - 99% of the Desis develop migranes just because of such inane conversations on the bus to school! So DON'T DO IT!) Although they give an earnest attempt, they are just like an Indian restaurant in the US with poor quality control. And there are the countless Desis who claim to not have one but secretly rehearse their pleasantries to the good looking Amru in the billing counter while in the Walmart queue. Whatever your fancy (or not!), conformity one day sure as hell will nip you in the butt!

As a final nail in the coffin, ever heard a Desis voicemail (atleast those who have set up one)? If not, do that NOW and read this blog again!